I've got countless things to do, yet my obstinate being has reign victorious over that pathetic small guilty conscience in me that screams softly, "Go do your homework ! Go start on revision !"
So I decided to come up with a wishlist, but it's on another webpage because my birthday is insignificant anyway :)
Romeo and Juliet, Act III Scene ii
Come, gentle night, — come, loving black brow'd night, Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of Heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night, And pay no worship to the garish sun.
Aww. Shakespeare's tragic drama of the "star-crossed" young lovers reinforce and embellish the antithesis between love and hate. In life, we face situations where we experience desultory and contradictory emotions. Sometimes, we feel compelled to make a decision which may not be the best choice. And we end up making mistakes. But everyone makes mistakes, what matters is we learn and be able to act appropriately in future decisions.
I'm going to watch hairspray the movie now, shall leave you with the soundtrack of my favourite song from that show :)
They say it takes two to tango Well, that tango's child's play So take me to the dance floor And we'll twist the night away
I dream of a lover babe, to say the things I long to hear, so come closer baby, oh and whisper in my ear.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
HandWritten on; 9:17 PM
Over the sea and far away She's waiting like an iceberg Waiting to change But she's cold inside She wants to be like the water
All the muscles tighten in her face Buries her soul in one embrace They're one and the same Just like water
The fire fades away Most of everyday Is full of tired excuses But it's to hard to say I wish it were simple But we give up easily You're close enough to see that You're the other side of the world to me
On comes the panic light Holding on with fingers and feelings alike But the time has come To move along
The fire fades away
Can you help me Can you let me go And can you still love me When you can't see me anymore
Simplicities of the world.
Lord, I ask you to keep them safe and give them the strength to do their best.
I know you people can do it. Give it all you've got <3
Saturday, July 26, 2008
HandWritten on; 4:23 PM
BOREDDDDDDDDDDDD.
Do you know what it feels like Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away Do you know what it feels like To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed
Birds, flying south is a sign of changes At least you can predict this every year Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly I can't get to speak Maybe if i knew all the things that took to save us I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me the look in your eyes don't say the same about me I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give
Do you know what it feels like, Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away. Do you know what it feels like, To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.
How can I love you If you just don't talk to me babe
I flow through my act The question is she needed And decide all the man I can ever be Looking at the last 3 years like I did I could never see us ending like this Seeing your face no more on my pillow Is the scene i said never happened to me But after this episode I now see You could never tell how the next day life could be
Do you know what it feels like Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away Do you know what it feels like To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed
I close the door Like so many times, so many times before Filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor I wanna let you walk away tonight without a word
I try to sleep But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me A thousand more regrets unraveling If you were here right now I swear I'd tell you this
Baby I don't wanna waste another day Keepin it inside it's killing me Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you I wish that I could find the words to say Baby I would tell you every time you leave I'm inconsolable
I climb the walls I can see the edge But I can't take the fall I've memorized the number So why can't I make the call Maybe cause I know you'll always be with me In the possibility
Baby I don't wanna waste another day Keepin it inside it's killing me Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you I wish that I could find the words to say Baby I would tell you every time you leave I'm inconsolable
I don't wanna be like this I just wanna let you know That everything I hold in Is everything I can't let go
I think it was the summertime When I laid eyes on you I didn't even know your name Somehow we'd end up in the same room It never crossed my mind I never saw you like that I should've listened to my best friend She knew it would be a perfect match
It's a typical love story Started out as friends We met way back when This is just a typical love story The boy you never wanted just steals your heart I never saw it coming till I fell so hard
I always made up some excuse Saying you that weren't my type Didn't want to face the truth Didn't want to cross that line til one day I saw you Out of the corner of my eye You were flirting with some girl And inside I thought I would die
It's a typical love story Started out as friends We met way back when This is just a typical love story The boy you never wanted just steals your heart I never saw it coming til I fell so hard
Can't believe its happening When I least expect it My prince under disguise How you fooled me with those eyes When I feel like letting go In your arms is where I know I am wrong From the beginning we always belong
As I walk through the valley Of the shadow of LA The footsteps that were next to me Have gone their separate ways I've seen enough now To know that beautiful things Don't always stay that way I've done enough now To know this beautiful place Isn't everything they say
I heard that evil comes disguised Like the city of angels I'm walking towards the light
Baptized in the river I've seen the vision of my life And I wanna be delivered In the city was a sinner I've done a lot of things wrong But I swear I'm a believer Like the prodigal son I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home Baptized in the river I'm delivered
You're from a small town You're gonna grow up fast Underneath these lights Down in Hollywood On the boulevard The dead come back to life
To the praying Mother And the worried Father Let your children go If they come back there They'll come home stronger And if they don't You'll know
They say that evil comes disguised Like the city of angels I'm walking towards the light
Baptized in the river I've seen the vision of my life And I wanna be delivered In the city was a sinner I've done a lot of things wrong But I swear I'm a believer Like the prodigal son I was out on my own Now I'm trying to find my way back home Baptized in the river I'm delivered I'm delivered
Baptized in the river I wanna be delivered
I confess I'm a sinner I've seen the vision of my life And I wanna be delivered
When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down your face And I
Tears stream down on your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down your face And I
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
Let me know that I've done wrong When I've known this all along I go around a time or two Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away Find out games you don't wanna play You are the only one that needs to know
I'll keep you my dirty little secret Don't tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret Just another regre hope that you can keep it My dirty little secret Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives It's the best way we survive I go around a time or two Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away find out games you don't wanna play you are the only one that needs to know
I'll keep you my dirty little secret Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret Just another regret hope that you can keep it My dirty little secret
Who has to know The way she feels inside Those thoughts I can't deny These sleeping dogs won't lie And now I try to lie It's eating me apart Trace this life out
I'll keep you my dirty little secret Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
Older songs which I have loved, till now.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:31 PM
Browsing through old pictures, I see shots, many many shots: shots of faded memories, shots which puts a smile across my face, shots which made my heart ache. I miss all of these quite terribly.
I hate studying, I hate having to do so much work, I hate having to rush through so many tutorials to catch up with the first half of the year, I hate having to keep up with the ridiculous rate my tutors and lecturers are going, I hate having to spend less time on things I want to do to do revision, I hate my muggershit life.
But so what if I hate all these ? I'd still have to live a life like this.
No one could ever know me No one could ever see me Seems you're the only one who knows What it's like to be me Someone to face the day with Make it through all the rest with Someone I'll always laugh with Even at my worst I'm best with you
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:05 PM
And when you slammed the front door shut A lot of others opened up So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me
Your eyes I'm over it Your smile I'm over it
Sunday, July 20, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:55 PM
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking When you fall everyone sins Another day and you've had your fill of sinking With the life held in your Hands are shaking cold These hands are meant to hold
Such a mnemonic picture. It's true, you can take a girl out of IJ, but you can never take IJ out of a girl. The same applies especially to st nicholas girls.
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through
So a day when you've lost yourself completely Could be a night when your life ends Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving All the pain held in your Hands are shaking cold Your hands are mine to hold
Saturday, July 19, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:41 PM
There is no other god, other than you, who cares for everything, to whom you might have to prove that you never judged unjustly. Your justice has its source in strength, your sovereignty over all makes you lenient to all. You show your strength when your sovereign power is questioned and you expose the insolence of those who know it; but, disposing of such strength, you are mild in judgement, you govern us with great lenience, for you have only to will, and your power is there. By acting thus you have taught a lesson to your people and you have given your sons the good hope that after sin you will grant repentance.
People must think of us as Christ's servants, stewards entrusted with the mysteries of God. What is expeced of stewards is that each one should be found worthy of his trust. Not that it makes the slightest difference to me whether you, or indeed any human tribunal, find me worthy or not. I will not even pass judgement on myself. The Lord alone is my judge. There must be no passing of premature judgement. Leave that until the Lord comes: he will light up all that is hidden in the dark and reveal the secret intentions of men's hearts. Then will be the time for each one to have whatever praise he deserves, from God.
You are forever in my life You see me through the seasons Cover me with Your hand And lead me in Your righteousness And I look to You and I wait on You
I’ll sing to You Lord a hymn of love for Your faithfulness to me I’m carried in everlasting arm You’ll never let me go through it all
Friday, July 18, 2008
HandWritten on; 7:02 PM
Today I truly felt the sprouting of new friendships. It is saddening to lose old ones( and I really wonder how did we come to this state, when I thought nothing like this would ever happen). I pray that this new friendship would grow stronger and never, ever fade. Pictures speaks a thousand words :)
I'm so proud of the WD exco 08-09, western dance can look forward to a whole year of crazy things :]
I still enjoyed HSM2 when I watched it just now. Awww Troy and Gabriella.
You know the words once upon a time Makes you listen There's a reason When you dream there's a chance you'll find A little laughter or happy ever after
Your harmony to the melody Is echoing inside my head A single voice Above the noise And like a common thread
When I hear my favorite song I know that we belong You are the music in me Yeah it's living in all of us And it's brought us here because Because you are the music in me
It's like I knew you before we met Can't explain There's no name for it I'm saying words that I never said And it was easy Cause you see the real me As I am You understand And that's more than we ever have
To hear your voice Above the noise I know, I'm not alone Oh you're singing to me
When I hear my favorite song I know that we belong You are the music in me It's living in all of us And it's brought us here because You are the music in me
Together we're gonna sing We've got the power to sing what we feel Connected and real Can't keep it all inside
When I hear my favorite song I know that we belong You are the music in me It's living in all of us It's brought us here because You are the music in me
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:38 PM
I'm suppose to be studying for my two tests tomorrow, but I really can't be bothered about them because I can't focus anyway.
Elections today, it kind of made me regret withdrawing from the elections, because I felt that if I was running I would have expressed much of my opinions about certain issues. And perhaps explained and clarified all the misunderstandings which has affected us in ways. Sitting as an audience, a normal member of the cca yet once an exco elect, was something different. Knowing the process of getting thus far to be standing in front of everyone with a prepared speech, I could understand how they feel, I know what they all want because I too, did have the same desire a few weeks back.
I had lost confidence in myself when I saw my ridiculous results after receiving my cts. How could someone with completely no sense of discipline even attempt to lead the cca ? The school may ban me from going for dance if I continue to do badly. Besides, I am having problems with my mother, who wants me to stop dancing. Running for Exco and being in Exco would take up alot of my time, and though I don't mind at all, I can't jeopardise my future in dance because she may just call up the teacher to kick me out of dance or something. And I cannot afford to live on without dance, that's impossible.
I shouldn't be reminiscing, but I can't help but regret, just a little. I should be taking responsibility for my own decision, and so I shall.
Let's just put it this way, I'm so proud of the elects. I'm proud that they've finally reached the destination of this long, arduous and draggy journey, that they're persevered and stayed on till the very end.
It has been great working with all you exco elects, love you all to bits !
Feelings are starting to stir, why ? Is it because of what I've heard ? Is it because of what they said ? Yet I am still doubtful, because I don't see anything from you.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
HandWritten on; 6:41 PM
I'm so proud that I was once a member of SNSB, today you all have played well, and you all deserve the GOLD.
Especially to my flutes sections, well done !
Anyway, Napoleon and Tabitha's choreography to Apologize is SUPERB. The second video is also by Napoleon and Tabitha to No Air.
I'm in love with their choreographies.
Tell me how I'm suppose to breathe with no air,
Friday, July 11, 2008
HandWritten on; 6:48 PM
Do the Hustle, Do the Hustle ! Lacey and Kameron. Such a cute choreography.
This is the highlight for my hours on youtube. Mark and Chelsie, Lyrical HipHop. Beautiful cheoreography, beautiful execution.
You see she's a beautiful girl, she's a beautiful girl
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
HandWritten on; 12:01 AM
Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt and it feels like I'm alive
Afer receiving my ct results, I am supposed to have come to a realisation that I should stop slacking and start studying, yet I am not making much improvements judging by the blank tutorials and booming number of posts in my archives. I've been blogging like every moment, and these recent posts are make me seem like some emoshit. I guess I have been dealing with issues so poignant, and I am constantly feeling this vehement ennui in me, because I'm so vapid and tired of all that's happening.
It's your birthday today. I just want you to know, that I treasure our friendship even though it may not seem like that to you. Those great times in december were memorable, thank you. I don't know what happened since the start of 2008 when we started school, I think it's probably the lack of communication, but we've drifted and I don't like that feeling of losing someone I once held dear. I'm truly sorry for hurting you in every way, and I hope we'll remain as friends. Yes, as friends.
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder, is there a spell that I am under, keeping me from seeing the real thing
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:08 PM
I made a wrong choice, I regret it.
How could I have been so blind to this ? Fuck, I want to get out of it.
Monday, July 07, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:49 PM
I open my eyes the world seems a different place, the colours are brighter and the air is sweet to taste. See it's like I woke up from a nightmare that tied me down,I smothered and trapped insiode a sleep way underground.
Just when I thought things would get better, the problems start filling my life again, this time it is much worse because nobody's on my side.
I wish I could call somebody to rant at but I know that would waste their time.
Simin's probably in Australia already, ahh she must enjoy studying there, this time with her sister in Melbourne. Miss you like &$@(#*^! Thank you for those few short days although they were short but they were memorable. Can't wait for you to come back again !
Sending her off something I had to do, even if it meant no phone. Met up with Jingwen and Tanjia too, miss you all dears !
I'm ready to fly, I wanna breathe in and breathe out and be who I am, let go of fear wanna feel alive, I'm ready to fly, the more that you hold me back you set me free, you help my heart decide.. Maybe I'm, maybe I'm ready to fly
Sunday, July 06, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:33 PM
Went around the east today. And I ate like so many meals, gosh.
Happy Youth Day :)
And I really really like my piano exam piece :)
HandWritten on; 7:49 PM
A letter, just a letter.
Which is directed to one person only, but if you want to read, tag too :)
Saturday, July 05, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:38 PM
It sucks to know that the rest of your classmates are having fun at the chalet while you're stuck at home. It also sucks to know that your church mates are at the gathering at Andrew's place now having a sumptous meal while you're at home eating porridge and snacks.
I spent my whole night watching youtube, how interesting.
Love this video ! Not forgetting the, interesting and not-so-catchy lyrics.
Ladies and Gentlemen You already know what it is Ok, Yea, Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit Im tryin to run in this mother* Im tryin to anyways Got two hard lookin mother*
I was tryin to enjoy ma night but you then came here Turned around looked mighty happy fore you came here I then turn into a rude dude Why you had to fuck up the night now we got to fight ima knock out ya lights
You aint doin nuthing but runnin ya yapp yapp You got to got to go get a couple homeboy I am strapped strapped I then turn into a rude dude man Why you had to fuck up the night now we got to fight ima knock out ya lights
Dope little lady tryin to hold you back you better listen to her She better not talk that shit ima have to put some piss right through her I then turn into a rude dude man Why you had to fuck up the night now we got to fight ima knock out ya lights...Ca mon
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm,You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm,You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Its a Sunday at the park im chillin trying to get ma swerve on Some little lane trying to run that game trying to get his serve on I then turn into a rude dude man Why you gotta fuck up the park ima put you in the dark clap on clap off
You aint doin nuthing but runnin your pie hole You gon' make me do somethin thatta get eye swollen' I dont wanna be a rude dude man Why you gotta fuck up the park ima put you in the dark clap on clap off
If thats your car you need to go ahead and get into it Better not talk that shit you gonna get bust something through it I then turn into a rude dude man Why you gotta fuck up the park gotta put you in the dark lights on lights off
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm,You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm,You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Those niggas think they hard, so why they think im not Until I put it hard and I show them what I got kinda like Im like those niggas think they hard, so why they think im not Until I put it hard and I show them what I got kinda like Those bitches think they hard, so why they think im not Until I put it hard and I show them what I got kinda like Those bitches think they hard, so why they think im not Until I put it hard and I show them what I got kinda like lets do it
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm,You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Yea, damm, You think you cool, you think im not you think you tough Damm, you think you hard, you think im soft, you think you rough Damm, You talkin shit, betta close your lips, you need to hush Before the end of the night im gunna have to take your ass to church
Thursday, July 03, 2008
HandWritten on; 7:25 PM
Looking back
Friends I will never forget
Memories with Johnians and Parables
I shall think about these wonderful things instead of all my Us.
Oh my gosh, Enid, Us. What happened to me ? I never dreamt of getting even 1 U in secondary school. Now I'm scoring a string of them.
Plus, there's so many things going on in July, and many recent happenings in school, church and at home. I don't know whether to hate my life or love it.
But I shall not emo any further because it won't make my life any better so I shall be happy and leave it all to God.
Lunch-ed with Junfeng today, haha, and aww, he's such a friend who respects his friends and treats them well. One of those people who will not brush his friends aside for other matters. And I respect that.
And I realised, that for the past month, my thinking changed and still is changing. So do feelings. Shucks, what is happening to my feelings ?! Why are affairs of the heart so complicated ? I hate my emotions, oh yes I do.
I think about you in the summertime And all the good times we had baby Been a few years and I can't deny The thought of you still makes me crazy I think about you in the summertime I'm sittin here in the sun with you on my mind You are, my summertime
Summer ended winter started it got colder when we parted ways as the seasons change Winter melted spring I felt it summertime will never be the same My summertime
Looking back 
Friends I will never forget
Memories with Johnians and Parables