It scares me to know how short life is. That Death could chance upon us anytime, and it could just take away our life, or the life of someone we hold dear. It could happen so suddenly, so unexpectedly, without a warning. When it happens, we are so taken aback by shock that we feel like it's the end of the world.
Anais Nin once said, people living deeply have no fear of death. I guess that's what we're living for, for others. And it's true as the maxim goes, a life lived for others is a life worth living. That's why Jesus died for us didn't he ? He did it with no regrets, with no hesitation.
Today, I want to start taking life (and death) seriously. Because there is nothing we can do to change about decisions made by God, but what we can change though, is how we live our life,how we treat people around us, how we exhibit acts of unconditional love.
Love—is anterior to Life— Posterior—to Death— Initial of Creation, and The Exponent of Earth—
Lord I ask you to keep them strong, I ask you to give them the strength and courage to carry on with life. I really don't understand why must you take him away from them, from us. But I know you have a reason for doing us, so I ask that you will help us live our life with no regrets, to live our life in your way.
There's a place we used to be There's a face that I used to see There's a picture with you by my side There's a moment that I want to find
Saturday, September 27, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:47 PM
Billy Bombers is da bomb :D
At this moment, I'm enjoying my life. I mean, it's after promos, I'm enjoying life, taking a short break before catching up with pw and starting dance pracs. I know that holidays aren't going to be much of a holiday judging by how pracs have be intensely geared for SYF.
On a bigger picture, 17 is one of the greatest age to be, ain't it ? You're not old, you're not young either, you're fresh and yet to some extent, mature. You're partying, watching movies, hanging out but you're job free and there's no pressure to work. While studying is our priority, there are so many other valuable experiences other than climbing that academic ladder. Being so prone to emotions, we taste elation, sorrow, anger, frustration, fear, satisfaction. We fall in love (or at least we think so), we take risks and be adventurous, we dream about the future.
I don't think I'll ever forget this 17th year of my existence.
And I’ll taste every moment And live it out loud I know this is the time, This is the time To be more than a name Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time This is the time of my life Time of my life
A choreography by Jean Marc, and this Viennese Waltz was so touching. It's such a wonderful thing to watch a love story in a dance. To see the blissfulness between a couple and the joy they have while dancing with each other. I’ve been waiting for my dreams to turn into something I could believe in And looking for that magic rainbow on the horizon I couldn’t see it until I let go Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn Now I’m coming alive body and soul and feeling my world start to turn
Friday, September 26, 2008
HandWritten on; 8:22 PM
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos Taking them off cause I feel a fool Trying to dress up when I'm missing you I'ma step out of this lingerie Curl up in a ball with something Hanes In that I lay With nothing but your t-shirt on
HandWritten on; 7:42 PM
He sits there, quietly, plausibly obselete yet diligently mending one of the shoes of his rare customers. His lonesome figure with his shraf of tools adumbrated an old scene from the past, and I felt like this moment was one of those fugacious minutes when I suddenly travelled back in time to old Singapore.
It may sound strange, but it was heartwarming to see this cobbler doing his job rapturously in our modern country. Who actually still sends his shoe for mending when it spoils ? Many of us would just dispose of the shoe and get a new pair. Despite knowing that, the cobbler continues to set up his little business, not prolific or profitable, yet it means alot to some people. He probably needed a small job, a place in this society to sustain himself, and tapped on a little idiosyncrasy on our part: that we would not throw away things which are precious to us. His customers are perhaps those who spoiled a precious shoe and didn't want to dump it.
So there he sits, softly and slightly dingy, evanscent and slowly fading away into the relics of our past. He continues to do his humble job (of which many of us would consider insignificant) and praying only for the slow elimination of his role in the society.
Burnt out ends of smokey days the stale cold smell of morning The streetlamp dies another night is over another day is dawning
Sunday, September 21, 2008
HandWritten on; 2:48 PM
Attempted to stay off the computer and eschew from blogging but looks like I failed. I can't stand coming online everyday but not being able to blog.
Caught Disaster Movie last night and I'm intending to catch Make It Happen tonight. That's if my mother is willing to pay for my ticket again. Anyway, Disaster Movie was crappy ! Had many weird scenes like (spoiler) the pregnant juno girl was spinning on her stomach and dancing hiphop and so was the Enchanted princess being so bimbo doing hiphop as well. (Still spoiler) The fake Amy Winehouse was rather.. hideous. Then there was Hulk, Batman, Hellboy... lots more but I couldn't really recognise. Oh well enough of spoilers. I have to say though, the show is full of rubbish, beware !
Promos start tomorrow ! -gasps. I think I am halfway through econs, nothing done for physics, 1/4 through everything else. I don't know if that's good progress. I don't want to screw my papers, GP already sucked because I couldn't finish my AQ.
On a random note, I was thinking about Money Honey by State of Shock's lyrics.
If I had more money honey Would you love me, love me, love me If I wasn't just somebody like me, like me
Sighs, since when did money make love go round ? It shouldn't because I don't believe in going for rich guys. If I love him, I love him for him, no matter what he is, a rich freak or a nobody. Anyhow, the song's stuck in my head.
As I'm staring through this fire It's too late to make you mine So far from where we started So far from what we wanted And as both our worlds fall down We have lost and we have found Oh I should have seen the signs Now we're falling back in time So far from where we started So far from what we wanted And I'm trying to right this wrong So I need you to be strong
Sunday, September 14, 2008
HandWritten on; 7:58 PM
They're the ones who kept me strong
I shall attempt to be M.I.A for now. Because promos are starting this week.
All the very best (or the very worst).
I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL THESE SHIT TO BE OVER ! :D
Oh kiss me Like you mean it Like you miss me
HandWritten on; 7:56 PM
Turn on that radio As loud as it can go Wanna dance until my feet can't feel the ground Say goodbye to all my fears One good song may disappear And nothing in the world can bring me down
Hand clapping Hip shaking Heartbreaking There's no faking What you feel when you're riding home
Music's in my soul I can hear it everyday, every night It's the one thing on my mind Music's got control And I'm never letting go, no no I just want to play my music
Got my six string on my back Don't need anything but that Everything I want is here with me So forget that fancy car I don't need to go that far What's driving me is following my dreams
Hand clapping Earth shaking Heartbreaking There's no faking What you feel when your on a roll
Music's in my soul I can hear it everyday, everynight It's the one thing on my mind Music's got control And I'm never letting go, no no I just wanna play my music
Can't imagine what it'd be like Without the sound of all my hero's singing all my favorite songs So I can sing along
Music's in my soul I can hear it everyday, everynight It's the one thing on my mind Music's got control And I'm never letting go, no no I just wanna play my music All night long
Friday, September 12, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:25 PM
Pictures from Bels' birthday ! haha , we had donuts and fondue, sinful heaven (oxymoron?), watched Awake. Which is a really cool show by the way :)
Don't mind that last picture, we were ALL watching the scene together but somehow, I was being portrayed as the horny person who is seemingly the most interested in this common phenomenon of what is known as, Human Reproduction.
I need to start revision, promos start next week. I must concentrate and focus. I should stop thinking too much.
So many nights I sit by my window Waiting for someone to sing me his song So many dreams I kept deep inside me Alone in the dark but now You've come along You light up my life You give me hope To carry on You light up my days and fill my nights with song
Monday, September 08, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:52 PM
I love Camp Rock. I'm going to catch it everytime it airs on tv. And Joe Jonas is damnit cute.
It's amazing how music can bring two people together. To bring them out of their own worlds, to allow them to meet and find their true self, to find each other. Music reads into all the souls of those who love it, and it allows us to express ourselves. Whether we perform it or not, we feel the universality of emotions through music. Music is the language of all human kind and in our souls all the time.
So I guess I had enough emo-ing because there's really no point in being emo. Not only has it affected my emotions and thoughts, it has terribly influenced my studies. I haven't started properly on revision because I can't concentrate. And I spent a colossal amount of time just stoning and thinking about irrelevant things which aren't going to help me at all. I have to get out of this terrible state and focus. I need help in doing this, bleh.
You're the voice I hear inside my head The reason that I'm singing You're the missing piece I need The song inside of me
Friday, September 05, 2008
HandWritten on; 10:15 PM
What hurts the most Was being so close And having so much to say And watching you walk away You never knowing What could have been And not seeing that loving you Is what I was trying to do
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
HandWritten on; 11:28 PM
Things have gone wrong. I know it. I can tell, I made a grave mistake. How could I have been so insensitive ? To not even consider how you have felt and only worried about how to deal with the issue. I know things are going to be different now, as much as I don't want to change it, I know you now think differently and you will not confide in me the way you did before things happen. And everytime I think about what a terrible friend I am and I ruined this intimate relationship we had, it pierces my heart. I should have thought about it deeply; how could I have been so shallow ? To have just allowed you to get hurt, to have broken this trust we had with each other. The guilt is just killing me. You've opened my eyes to so many flaws in me, my insentivity, my foolishness, my stupidity, how hypocritical I am. And true enough, its not just about taking without asking anymore, its keeping it from you. I realised that this is an indication of how disgustingly shameless I am. We shared so many things yet I betrayed you by keeping it from you. Then I didn't think you would be so affected by it. How could I ? HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO SELFISH ? I've never felt like I lost an ardent friendship before. I know I wanted to be honest, but I didn't carry out what I believed in. I don't want things to have changed. But I know they have. Yet if I don't move on and accept what has happened, I cannot turn things around and pretend nothing ever happened. I feel like I'm speaking rubbish really and talking in circles. But, I don't know what to handle this. It hurts so much to know I have lost you. And things are going to be different. It kills to know that I caused things to have turned out this way. I'm sorry. Despite knowing that apologising a million times wouldn't change things, I still want to let you know, I'm truly sorry. Perhaps I'm the one overreacting now, because to me, true friendships are important and I don't ever want to lose them. And when I know I have, the sorrow is unbearable. AHH FUCK I made a terrible mistake. If only I could turn back time. And tears won't change a thing.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor Illusion never changed into something real I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn I'm torn
HandWritten on; 8:43 PM
I'm in for some romance today ! Caught Wall-E and My Sassy Girl Sneaks yesterday and today with Donna. Wall-E wasn't too bad, My Sassy Girl was wonderful. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE XD
The show was touching too, with a pinch of destiny-is-meant-for-you-to-mould in it. It's true, while I believe God has already made plans for us, it is still up to ourselves to determine how our lives will go.
It's so beautiful to watch, the love that never fails, never fades and always stay strong.To be able to romance with the one you love is the best thing that can happen to a girl.To have a man who will catch you when you fall, to sweeten you up with words, to hold you in his arms and tell you how important you are to him and mean it.
Now I wish someone could sing this to me! I want it to be you.
Tonight its very clear As we're both lying here There's so many things I want to say I will always love you I would never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget Say things I might regret It breaks my heart to see you crying I don't wanna lose you I could never make it alone
I am a man who will fight for your honour I'll be the hero you're dreaming of We'll live forever Knowing together that we Did it all for the glory of love
You'll keep me standing tall You'll help me through it all I'm always strong when you're beside me I have always needed you I could never make it alone
I am a man who will fight for your honor I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of We'll live forever Knowing together that we Did it all for the glory of love
Just like a knight in shining armor From a long time ago Just in time I will save the day Take you to my castle far away
I am a man who will fight for your honor I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of We're gonna live forever Knowing together that we Did it all for the glory of love
We'll live forever Knowing together that we Did it all for the glory of love
We did it all for love
Monday, September 01, 2008
HandWritten on; 8:59 PM
SN is the love. I can't even think of a line that can describe the joy, the love, the satisfaction, the warmth that I experience in st nicholas. I really miss all the crazy times we had. How we would adjust the clock faster to end school earlier, how our class would stop abruptly in the midst of our greeting and then start acting like a pussy in front of the teachers, how we wrapped a toy around the class clock hoping a teacher would observe, how we could just burst into claps in the middle of lessons, how our class went around cheering like some crackpot for no good reason, singing our authentic remix of class cheers and end it with continuous claps that everyone stared at us like we were deranged.... (etc)
Truth is, we are deranged, and no one can ever take the insanity away from us !
Hold on to our dream of peace, don't stop believing
Our hearts and hands, ever-seeking, ever serving
Hold on to the sound of our friends all joyously singing
